hit me with your best shot .

Saturday, May 02, 2009,11:52 pm

turns out i called the lady for the sunday job too late,

and she's already found someone else ): ): ):

so,

im going job-hunting tomorrow! :DD

wish me luck man,

i must must must must must get a nice good job fast! (:

im so so so glad i didn't miss service today,

i felt a breakthrough,

i was feeling a little vomit-ish.

and many times i wanted to run off to the toilet.

but i'm glad i stayed throughout.

we had a church-wide temperature taking today.

it was really cooool as we all compared temperatures. hahaha.

its funny though,

last time, 37.5degrees already made everyone kanchiong.

now, the mark's 38.1degrees.

anything less, and nobody gives a poop. hahah!

also, im glad jieru talked to me today.

it felt good to let things out to my leader(:

her prayer comforted me.

NOT JUST, my life, my needs, my desires.

step into a life that's not all just about you.

and trust me, you'll walk out 987654321 times more satisfied & secure(:

im happy to proclaim that though my situations have not improved much.

but i'm feeling alot better(:

i don't want to sound like some religious freak.

but truly,

on thursday night, i was at my lowest

and i surrendered everything to God during QT.

truly broke down all my emotional walls.

and was broken and vulnerable.

all i said was "God, i really really need you"

change didnt happen overnight.

not even after night and after day.

i took some action by spending some mutual time with my family.

took the time to quieten my heart to wait on God.

and i guess the weekend took some time off from school crap.

and of course i shared my problems with friends and cgl.

like i said, things have not gotten much better.

im still struggling, and probably always will.

but now,

every night before i sleep.

i'm not overwhelmed with tears or hurt.

but i feel some peace, and like much of my burden has been lifted from me.

i feel comfortable comfort, and i can sleep better(:

this particular 2 weeks in my life have taught me such :

you can't change your circumstances, but you can change how you embrace them.

never be afraid to be vulnerable before God, and before your friends and loved ones,

you'll be surprised at what you may learn.

never stop moving,

you can take a break, but never,

NEVER admit defeat and give up,

allowing the walls of your circumstance to crumble on top of you.

it seems the solution's always that one step away.

you have to push for it(:

Pst Lia said something today that stuck in me.

there's a limitation to our skills and efforts.

anything else we drawn from God(:

He crushes the walls of our limitations, reveals to us so much more!(:

the past two weeks.
i honestly thought i had to do it on my own.
i thought i could manage on my own.
it was only today, that i realised just how true those words are.
your own strength and efforts can only bring you so far.
but when you lean on God, something just clicks naturally.
it's hard to explain, hard to accept i guess, if you havent felt it for yourself.
all i can say is,
trust me ^^

i will die to self, bend my will if i have to!
patience yiwen! :D

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